The Friend With Benefits

Jk, bitches

Sun, 19 May 2013 02:56:42 -0400

She doesn’t want to write things.

So you guys are stuck with me.

Sorry.

being really horny is really frustrating when she is really far away

Wed, 15 May 2013 17:55:26 -0400

being really horny is really frustrating when she is really far away

Today is the last day of the semester

Fri, 10 May 2013 16:12:12 -0400

We keep saying how we need to discuss what we’re going to do regarding all this next semester (when we’re roommates) but we have yet to do so.

Part of me really wants this to continue. I love it, I love being thought pretty, I love making her happy, I love how happy it makes me.

But another part of me wants to stop this before something happens and fucks with our friendship.

I am not the most emotionally stable person out there, and with us being roommates, she’s going to have to deal with me a lot more than she does now, which is saying something. I don’t want to make her have to deal with me even more by having this complicated hookup thing going on.

I love her, ya’ll. She’s my best friend. I don’t want to drive her away, and I’m afraid that continuing this would be too much of me for her to deal with, no matter if it’s positive or not.

Damn today is a sexual day. I always forget how driving this is. Oh, evolution.

Wed, 08 May 2013 23:28:40 -0400

Damn today is a sexual day.

I always forget how driving this is.

Oh, evolution.

I wish I could explain this without sounding whiny or needy I leave for home in three and a half...

Wed, 08 May 2013 02:08:55 -0400

I wish I could explain this without sounding whiny or needy

I leave for home in three and a half days.

I won’t be seeing her for another few months.

I guess it just makes me sad because (though sleep is important) I want to spend as much time as I can (without being annoying) with her because I won’t be able to for so long.

Not even hooking up, just hanging out or cuddling or something.

I’m really glad we got to today for a bit, but I dunno.

I’m being selfish here.

5/4

Mon, 06 May 2013 00:55:16 -0400

Ohhh what a nice night

Saturdays tend to be good. We’re both usually not so busy, there’s Doctor Who, and Sundays mean no classes or finals the next morning.

So after working for a while, we ended up hanging out in my room around 5-ish. We watched an episode of Supernatural and I got to cuddle with her, which is always always nice, and started an episode of Game of Thrones. Somehow, the show got paused and we made out until 8-ish when we had to leave for Doctor Who.

Damn, sometimes I think I like the abbreviated sessions better, cause usually I get to see her face and it’s more intense without being more intense, if that makes any sense?

Anyway, after Doctor Who, we came back to my room, had dinner, then proceeded to make out some more.

Now, we had yet to make use of our rope-yarn, so we decided to give it a try.

We headed to her room and I tied her up, arms to the bedpost, and had a lot of fun. Making her squirm is something I absolutely adore. Next time, though, I do believe that I’ll be giving her less slack, she had far too much freedom last night.

At some point in the middle of all this, I look at her and she just kinda breathes out “You’re so beautiful” and she looked and sounded so damn sincere that I couldn’t stop smiling about it. It makes me feel so good when she says I’m beautiful, and the more I hear it, the more I’m starting to believe it.

I untied her around 1 or 2, I don’t remember, because I was feeling bad about my body (I hate society.) and we ended up cuddling for a bit until she sent me to bed.

Now then Benefits, if you read this, I want you to take a break from studying for finals, and I want you to write something because I have no clue what is going through your head, and I’d like to find out!

And don’t try to get out of it dear, I’ll know if you’ve seen this or not.

<3 Friend.

.

Mon, 06 May 2013 00:35:50 -0400

something small and silly It just amazes me how she can think I’m beautiful to the point...

Sun, 05 May 2013 11:21:05 -0400

something small and silly

It just amazes me how she can think I’m beautiful to the point where she has to say something about it.

I can’t really stop smiling about it.

To try and encourage Benefits to finally post something, I will say nothing about tonight except...

Sun, 05 May 2013 01:40:31 -0400

To try and encourage Benefits to finally post something, I will say nothing about tonight except that ropes are nice.

5/1

Thu, 02 May 2013 21:50:34 -0400

So yesterday was my birthday, and it was awesome.

I had things to do until about 5, but after I finished, I went into Davis Square and hung out with Benefits. We explored this park for an hour and a half and just talked about random things and it was awesome.

We met up with two of our friends and went out to dinner at this ramen place.

So we decided that we wanted to spend the evening drinking wine and baking a cake, but we needed frosting, because what is a cake without frosting?

Our other two friends left us to go study after dinner, and we stopped by the grocery store for the frosting. While there, it occurred to me that we might be able to find rope.

Well, there wasn’t any suitable rope in the grocery store, but in the craft store next door we found some really thick yarn that seems like it’ll work nicely.

Though, on the flipside of that, I’ve no idea what I’m doing, I only know that I feel like it’ll be easier to tease her if she’s restrained.That, and she’ll be much much much more turned on. But still, no idea what I’m doing.

I wonder if she’s had experience with this before. Well, Benefits? If you have, care to share with the class? You do have yet to post anything :P

Anyway, we made it back to campus, had some wine, baked a delicious chocolate cake (the frosting was blue!), and then proceeded to make out once our friends had left for the night.

She was very very sensitive last night, I barely had to touch her to make her shiver, and it was nearly impossible to keep her from writhing (trust me, I tried) and it was very nice.

But, as nice as it was, I managed to fuck things up.

I had a breakdown about my body, to the point where I got really dizzy, started to shake, and collapsed on her floor.

She keeps telling me she thinks I’m beautiful, but she’s the beautiful one, and I can’t come close to comparing to that.

But the thing is, when I’m not breaking down, she’s teaching me to love my body, to not be ashamed of it. To not hate it. When I’m with her, I can forget that I’m too big, I can forget how much I can’t stand the sight of myself. I feel powerful and beautiful and fucking sexy.

It’s just last night was a really really unbelievably bad night.

I ended up being unable to move without feeling like I was going to fall down. She got me upstairs back to my room and went to bed.

I am so, so sorry Benefits. I am so sorry.

Friend here. I want to apologize to Benefits again, in case I hadn’t done so enough...

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:26:30 -0400

Friend here.

I want to apologize to Benefits again, in case I hadn’t done so enough already.

I’m sorry I broke down, I’m sorry I kept you up late. I’m sorry.

quiero besar a ella, pero no puedo. (wait, why am I speaking in Spanish?)

Wed, 01 May 2013 02:36:09 -0400

quiero besar a ella, pero no puedo.

(wait, why am I speaking in Spanish?)

Really? Other ridiculous pickup lines? Though I do admit, this last one was a good one.

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:31:04 -0400

Really? Other ridiculous pickup lines?

Though I do admit, this last one was a good one.

I could really happily just make out with her right now. Yes please. I could use the rush of...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 00:08:17 -0400

I could really happily just make out with her right now.

Yes please.

I could use the rush of positive emotion.

But, alas, she is doing work.

Though if she decides she’d rather be doing me…

4/27

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 12:12:25 -0400

Friend here

I love weekends.

Last night started out quite nicely. After watching Doctor Who with some friends, we came back to my room. She had to do laundry and I had to shower, and so we did. With my new haircut, it took me less than five minutes to get in and out of the shower, and it was amazing.

My hair was finally curly (they straightened it to cut it properly on Friday) and I actually got back in my room and got dressed before she was able to come back upstairs from putting her laundry in the wash.

When she saw my hair, it was very interesting to watch her pupils dilate. There were some words exchanged, though I don’t remember about what, and she kissed me.

Food got here, we ate, and decided to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

It was really fun (it’s one of my favorite things to do) and half the time she was laughing really hard at my callbacks, which was a nice feeling.

We paused the movie so she could get her laundry, and when we got back we decided to just let the remainder of the movie go unwatched.

My roommate was supposed to be out until two, but she has notoriously bad timing. Luckily for us, we locked the door. I hope she doesn’t suspect anything, but even if she did I don’t think she’d care much.

After that, we decided moving to her room would be a much safer bet.

Dominating is so much fun. Now that I know what really turns her on, it’s so easy to get her right where I want her.

I can tell her to put her arms over her head, and to keep them there, then trail my fingers down her stomach, just to the edge of her jeans, while my mouth is running from her ear to her nipples and back up again to her neck, teasing her with kisses and forcing her down every time she tries to move up to get them.

I surpassed my own personal best, apparently, and got her even more turned on than she’d ever been before. I can live with that.

So I asked what she thought of rope. She visibly shivered and nodded fiercely. So we’re going to try to find some rope before the end of the semester. Maybe with that I can get her to scream instead of just moan “fuck yes, oh my god yes, yes, yes, oh my god”

My my my, she’s quite a vocal lady. It’s really sexy.

Even though I was dominating for the majority of the night, she did take over for a bit. My nipples aren’t usually that sensitive, but last night holy fuck wow. I actually had to ask her for a break because I couldn’t function at ALL. Even then it took me a good ten minutes to regain any semblance of thinking. Being able to be in the moment helps so much with getting turned on, but it’s so hard for me to do. I’m glad I was able to be last night.

Also, now that I have short hair, I’m able to have sex hair (hookup hair?) and that is quite entertaining to me.

She said we would go to bed by 2, so naturally I left at 3:30.

What a good night.

I have news!

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 01:34:00 -0400

So, after a bit of coercing, She agreed to co-running this blog with me!

Not only will you get my fabulous insight and feelings about our non-relationship and my fucked-up sexuality, but you get to hear what She is thinking as well!

For simplicity’s sake, I will be referred to as Friend and she will be referred to as Benefits. To know which of us is posting, check the tags (though our styles are sufficiently different enough that you’ll be able to tell us apart soon enough)

Promo for a blog that we (She and I) run together (mostly me.)

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:50:00 -0400

Promo for a blog that we (She and I) run together (mostly me.):

We post pretty people

I’ve been really anti-sexual things recently. Like, the thought of anything at all is either...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 20:29:21 -0400

I’ve been really anti-sexual things recently.

Like, the thought of anything at all is either really undesirable or just “meh”

And I spent a good chunk of time this afternoon just lying on the grass contemplating my sexuality. And I still really don’t like it.

Because I want to be able to not hold up a double standard to the world and say my best friend being Ace is totally okay, but when I’m Ace I must be broken and something is inherently wrong with me. That’s not okay, I can’t go through life holding up these ridiculous standards for myself.

But god I just really hate it.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do anything below the belt for anyone else and be truly comfortable with it. I’m barely comfortable with it for myself, honestly.

And sometimes I’m not as into it as I want it to be, more often than I’d like, actually. I just really really don’t like this.

Because even when I have a sexual day it only lasts for a limited period of time. Sometimes it’s an hour, sometimes it’s a few, but almost never is it more than that. As soon as it’s over it’s like somebody put up a “closed” sign over the sex shop in my head, and I’m like, oh, okay, none of this is appealing anymore.

I just want to be sexual god fucking dammit.

So I’m getting my hair cut really short for the first time on Friday I’ve had these...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 10:55:16 -0400

So I’m getting my hair cut really short for the first time on Friday

I’ve had these really long curls for as long as I can remember

And while I’m definitely doing this for myself, as I want hair easier to maintain and a change (finally)

There’s definitely a small factor of “maybe now she’ll be even more attracted to me”

Also short hair is much much easier to play with

I just want to make out with her right now Pleasepleaseplease

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:21:00 -0400

I just want to make out with her right now

Pleasepleaseplease